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 FemDom

Femdom, short for female domination covers such a vast array of fetishes and interests, sexual and domestic lifestyle that everyone's definition would differ making an exact definition impossible. Of course everyone has different bdsm femdom fetishes and fantasies but the basic principle being that of superior women and inferior male slaves. Sometimes this is just for play fantasy sessions that you would find a Dominatrix in a dungeon doing and to some a complete 24/7 femdom, lifestyle. Also called TPE total power exchange or APE actual power exchange. A Dominant Mistress or dom tgirl can lead some people into money slavery and financial domination although that seems to be more fantasy than reality, many say they are financial slaves but never follow it through. They like the humiliation of being a pay pig, money slave and naturally some women like to receive their gifts. How about surrender to a BBW Mistress, meaning Big Beautiful Woman, this is quite popular with certain male submissives  as is CBT, cock and ball torture CP, corporal punishment, anal play and bondage. Have a look at the bdsm glossary at the bottom of this page for better explanations. Many dominatrix interests include trampling, walking over the sub either in heels or bare feet. I saw an episode of Desperate housewives where this happened. Foot worship can be wearing shoes or boots or naked feet, massaging or kissing/licking them, sometimes when they are dirty sometimes not. Serving a Black Femdom is a particular attraction to some a stunning ebony Mistress brings a different kind of power exchange and adds a new element. A lifestyle dominatrix can also be a professional Mistress or just lives the lifestyle, different again from fetish models who prefer just to dress in shiny clothes, rubber leather PVC etc. A strap on queen for the many strap on lovers who love being anally invaded by their Mistress with a strap on forced to wear a dildo. Boots and high heels the higher and sharper the spiked heel the better. Oriental Goddess or Mistress again different races add a different dimension who subordinate men to their authority. Caning sometimes referred to as English discipline. Exquisite punishments and high class domination with an upper class English accent. How about hypno femdom, hypnotising the sub by the Mistress is a relatively new specialization. Apparently giving the Dominant more power and control as they control their slave mentally and can bind without any actual physical bonds, handcuffs etc. Some Mistress are more sensual than sadistic and use tie and tease orgasm denial. Dress less in fetish clothing and more in silk, satin blouses, skirts, elegant rather than powerful looking.

The image of a stunning, beautiful Dominatrix dressed in rubber, leather, corsets, thigh high boots etc is a very popular one, a fantasy one. Clothing fetish is very strong and also applicable to the submissive who may like to be feminized, turned into a sissy wearing women's lingerie. Forced feminization were the female dominant forces her male sub into feminine clothing to humiliate and extend her control over her victim. Also adult baby regression not so common but one of many variations. 

It is often stated that the psychological aspects to domination are the most important and then the "play" comes afterwards. Getting the submissive to accept in his/her head that the woman is superior is the first step to achieving female domination. Male submission allows the woman to get what she wants and the male to be happy serving his Mistress putting her needs first. The play of course is where all of the activities come into effect that are generally searched for on the net. Sadistic acts by a cruel beautiful Dominatrix to a bound helpless male slave, just reading the words can be exciting. Incidentally try reading the femdom stories pages, stories of female domination, some are very good.

So what are these activities, above is a list of some of them but this is not an official glossary or exhaustive list as I am sure there are so many more not even named yet.

Different Levels Of Submission

You will see on many BDSM sites or hear mentioned on the "scene" the terms submissive and slave. So what is the difference or is it just playing with words. When someone says I want to be your slave, sometimes they only want to be tied up and whipped which in the definitive sense is hardly being a slave. Professional Domina's can refer to their clients as slaves when really the term is only being used for erotic stimulation, to create the right atmosphere. At the other end of the spectrum there are people who genuinely desire to be full time 24/7 personal servants, existing solely for their dominants use, pleasure, amusement and convenience, devoting their life to the service of their dominant. As a chattel, the property of their "Owner". Most subs/slaves sit in between the person seeking erotic satisfaction from a professional and the latter completely owned servant. That is where this guide may be useful in maybe pinpointing where you are, wish to be, or wish your sub to be.

NON SUBMISSIVE MASOCHIST Not into serving someone else at all, no interest in humiliation or giving up control to someone else. They seek just pain or spiced-up sensuality. They act on the their own terms and for their own direct pleasure. Turned on by their own bodily sensations rather than by being used to gratify a Dominants sadism.

PSEUDO SUBMISSIVE NON SLAVE Not interested in playing as a slave but probably into other submissive role-playing games, maybe dominant school teacher, interrogation, prison officer, infantilism, forced feminization. Would usually like humiliation, but not into serving the dominants desires, not even in play. They like to dictate the scene almost totally, often referred to as topping from the bottom.

PSEUDO SUBMISSIVE PLAY SLAVE They like to play at being a slave, fulfilling a fantasy, they like to feel subservient to the dominant. In some cases to feel like they are being used to gratify the dominants sadism. May actually serve the dominant in some ways but generally on the submissive's terms. Will dictate the scene to a large degree. They are often fetish orientated, liking foot worship, fetish clothing, high heels, boots etc.

TRUE SUBMISSIVE NON SLAVE They give up control but temporarily and always within agreed limits negotiated beforehand. They get their main satisfaction from being submissive other than that of serving or being used. In other words they are usually turned on by suspense, apprehension of the unknown, being left vulnerable, having no responsibility. They do not dictate the scene apart from agreed limits but still obtain their pleasure from what happens to them rather than getting pleasure from pleasing or serving the dominant.

TRUE SUBMISSIVE PLAY SLAVE They give up control although again only temporarily during play scenes and within agreed limits but in this case get their satisfaction from serving the dominant. Being used by the dominant but only in erotic or fun situations. They may be a masochist, turned on by pain but indirectly. Suffering as the object of the dominants sadism. The submissive places very few limits or restrictions on the dominant.

SHORT TERM SEMI SLAVE They give up control and want to serve and be used by the dominant. The first level of actually wanting to provide non erotic submission but only when the slave is in the mood, hence the short term classification. The period may even be several days where they act as a full time servant but ultimately they are free to quit whenever they wish or when the agreed period ends. May be in a LTR with the Mistress, but the slave has the final say over when serving.

PART TIME CONSENSUAL REAL SLAVE They have committed to a Mistress/slave relationship and regard themselves as the property of the Mistress without time constraints . They want to obey, serve and please in all aspects of life including everyday practical domestic chores as well as erotic. Devoting most of their time to other commitments, probably has a full time job but nearly all of their free time is controlled by the dominant.

FULL TIME CONSENSUAL REAL SLAVE The slave regards themselves as existing for the pleasure of the dominant to serve and obey without question although there are a few pre agreed limits. The slave expects to be regarded as the dominants property/chattel. Possibly similar to that of the traditional housewife in the 1950s. Apart from in this case the slave's position is fully consensual and they are considered a househusband or slavehusband. They understand how much power is being given up and that it is way past just erotic games. This arrangement is only entered into with care and awareness of the part of the salve and dominant, this is not a traditional marriage by any means.

TOTAL NO LIMIT SLAVE A very popular fantasy which probably doesn't exist in reality. Maybe in religious cults or situations where brainwashing has induced the situation. If somebody considers themselves a total no limits slave and says they would do anything for their dominant then they would probably be dangerous to themselves, others and the dominant also. Treat such claims with scepticism.

Here are 3 different consensual slavery contracts that can be used in a Femdom BDSM relationship. As with the rules they can be modified and adapted to suit each individual couple. The point is that it is consensual. The contract can also be used in conjunction with the list of rules and so clearly stating the structure of the relationship.

Contract 1

I .....................................  with an open free mind request of
........................................ that She accept the submission of my will unto Her and to take me into Her care and guidance, that W/we may grow together in love, trust and mutual respect. The satisfaction of Her wants, desires, and whims are consistent with my desire as a submissive to please Her. To that end, I offer Her use of my time, talents, and abilities. Further I ask that as my Mistress, She accept the keeping of my body in good health for the fulfilment and enhancement of our sexual, spiritual, emotional, and intellectual needs. She may have unfettered use of my body at any time or any place, in front of anyone as She will determine.
I ask that She guides and trains me in any sexual, sensual, or scene-related behaviour to better achieve Her aims.

I request of ....................................... as my Mistress, that She use the power to mould and shape me assisting me to grow in strength, character, confidence and that She continue to help me to develop my submissive nature in her service.

In return I agree:

To always obey Her commands to the best of my ability and talents.

To overcome feelings of guilt or shame, and all inhibitions that interfere with my capability to serve Her and limit my growth as Her submissive.

To reveal my thoughts, feelings, and desires without hesitation or embarrassment, never hiding anything and being completely honest.

To inform Her of my wants and needs that I may perceive I have, recognizing that She is the judge of this and knows better than me what my needs are.

To be a happy and self-fulfilled individual, happy in my submission and life as Her slave.

To strive to work against any negative aspects of my male ego and my insecurities that would interfere with complete submission to Her.

My surrender as a submissive is done with the knowledge that She will not ask of me anything dangerous or harmful to myself, Her or others.

This I do promise with clear thought and the realization of what this means, both stated and implied.

Should it be found that our aspirations are not being well served by this agreement or for any other reason wish to cancel we may do so by verbal notification to the other as this is a consensual slavery agreement. A cancellation means an end to the control stated and implied within this agreement.

This agreement serves as an extension of our relationship, committed to in the spirit of loving and consensual dominance and submission.

I consent to submission to ...................................... under the terms stated above on this date...................

..................................................
Signature of Submissive

I accept the submission by ..................................under these terms stated above on this date......................

...................................................
Signature of Dominant

Contract 2

I of my own free will and being in good mental health offer myself in slavery to my beloved Mistress for the period beginning on .................... and ending on .......................

During the time period expressed above I consider myself to be a 24/7 slave to my Mistress. I will devote myself completely and totally to the pleasure and desires of my Mistress without hesitation.

General Rules
The slave agrees to obey his Mistress in all areas. The slaves mind, body, soul and time belong to Her. The slave accepts the using of his safe word when necessary but shall always be used responsibly. The slave completely trusts his Mistress to respect the use of the safe word. If a condition arises in which the slave needs to use the safe word, or pre determined gesture if verbal communication is not possible, the Mistress will assess the situation and determine an appropriate course of action to ensure safety but not lose her position of authority.

The slave shall keep his body clean and hygienic, available for the use of his Mistress at all times. The slave accepts that his Mistress has the right to determine whether others can use his body as his body belongs to the Mistress. The Mistress will discuss these instances in advance to be certain that such play with others will not exceed agreed limits. The slave acknowledges that his Mistress may use his body and mind in any manner She wishes to please or amuse Her. She may hurt her slave without reason just to please Herself. The slave may or may not have the right to cry, scream or beg and accepts that begging or crying will not affect his treatment. The slave accepts that the Mistress may gag him if his cries are tiresome or take other actions to silence him.

The slave may be allowed to have free periods during which the slave may express himself openly without the fear of punishments. The slave will still continue to address his Mistress with respect and submission  and that any deviation from this will be punished at a later time. The slave is not permitted to act in a disrespectful or unhumble manner even in free periods.

The slave will answer all questions put to him honestly and directly without hesitation, he has no right to emotional privacy and will volunteer any information about his physical or emotional condition. However the slave does not have the right to complain, he will voice his concerns politely and respectfully without any hint of displeasure and accept the decision of the Mistress to best address these issues..

The slave understands that punishment may be administered for any infraction or perceived infraction of the letter or spirit of this contract and the slave will furthermore accept the punishment gratefully. The form and severity of the punishment shall always be decided by the Mistress to please her as well as to punish. The Mistress will not punish in such a way as to inflict harm upon the slave that might require the attention of anyone outside the relationship. 

 All rights and privileges not already noted in the contract belong to the Mistress and will require Her consent. The contract may be edited when new provisions need to be made.

Private Rules of Submissive Conduct
On days when his Mistress is working the slave will greet Her at the door wearing his collar, wrist restraints, and any attire belonging to his Mistress that she has deemed appropriate. he is not permitted to wear male or female underwear in her presence unless given permission. The slave will always dress as the Mistress has instructed. When in the same room as his Mistress the slave needs to ask for permission before leaving the room and then  explain where he is going and why before being allowed to leave. At mealtimes the slave will prepare and serve his Mistress and then sit at her feet obediently while She eats. The slaves food will be given by the Mistress at her discretion in a manner she decides upon whether from a plate or bowl. When speaking to his Mistress or being spoken to by Her the slave will not meet his Mistress's eyes directly, unless instructed to do otherwise.

Public Rules of Submissive Conduct
The slave will at all times act in a manner as to not call attention to the fact that they are Mistress and slave. he will call his Mistress by her name unless the use of "Mistress" is appropriate. Reasons possibly being with certain knowing "scene" friends or when not in the hearing range of others. The slave will always defer to his Mistress in public and never create a situation where she may look incorrect. The slave will seek approval of any clothing he wishes to wear in public. Unless given permission the slave may not wear male underwear and will always dress in women's panties.

Work Rules

This contract is not intended to interfere with the slave's career. The Mistress wishes the slave to work hard and honestly so therefore the slave is permitted to schedule appointments when necessary, answer the telephone, to dress in a manner appropriate to work and to leave the house when necessary without the expressed permission of his Mistress. Although the slave must inform the Mistress of his whereabouts at all times.

i agree to accept and obey all the rules stated in this contract as well as any rules my Mistress may choose to issue at a later date.

........................................................date...................

Signature of slave

I accept My slave's desire to serve Me and take responsibility for his well-being, training and discipline to more perfectly serve My will.

..........................................................date.....................
Signature of Mistress

Contract 3

Slavery Contract between
............................... now referred to as "Owner" binds this contract with her signature and the signature of ...............................now referred to as "slave" in this slavery contract. The contract refers to total dominance and control by the Owner in her relationship with her slave.

Purpose
The purpose of this contract is to formalise the Ownership of the slave and all that this implies. This contract is written to make clear the rights of the Owner and the consequences for failure if the slave does not live up to this agreement. It is a permanent reminder of the many duties and responsibilities of a 24/7 slave.

Symbols of Ownership chosen by the Owner for the slave to wear include ...................................................... Symbols of Ownership are visible reminders of the status of the slave and its chosen lifestyle, they are a constant reminder of the Owners control.

Duties of Servitude
It is the duty of the slave to serve and please his Owner.

Personal Duties include but not limited to: Physical and emotional needs of the Owner, amusement, being a sexual toy, a plaything, giving physical comfort, total obedience, honesty and loyalty, waiting on Owner on hand and foot as desired.

Household Duties include but not limited to: Cleaning, keeping the home spotless, doing laundry, shopping, cooking, running errands. Any tasks assigned are considered to be permanent. Any expenditure over $/£/€10.00 will be completely subject to the approval of Owner prior to purchase unless said item may be returned for a full refund. General food shopping is not subject to this requirement. An allowance will be set by Owner for the slave to use which can be increased/decreased or taken away at any time.

If the slave wishes to use the computer he will ask for a specific time to do so. Permission may be given by the Owner and the slave will stop using the computer immediately when this time period expires unless an extension is asked for and permission granted. If Owner is not at home slave may be permitted to engage in this or other recreation activities as long as any chores, commands or cleaning that need to be done are completed to a high standard.

Slave acknowledges that Owner's authority supersedes his in any decision including but not limited to travelling plans, priorities, visitations, recreation, obligations, diet, reading, consumption, communications or any yet to be realised activity.

Owner will not injure, permanently mark or change the slaves body.

Behaviour
The slave shall be respectful to the Owner at all times. Disrespect is a serious offense and will always be severely punished. Being respectful includes the slaves manner of speech, promptness of obedience, kneeling to serve, accurate answers, unhesitating submission, loyalty and honesty. Respect and obedience are the two most important aspects of the slaves behaviour. Failure will always be punished, the severity being at the pleasure and discretion of the Mistress.

Slave shall address the Dominant as ....................... at all times and shall pay full attention when spoken to. The Owners wishes are more important than any other activity the slave may be engaged in. The slave shall walk, kneel, sit, stand and lay where, when and however the dominant commands. Slave shall always remain in bed at night unless permission is granted. The slave shall not remove any restraint device for any other reason than an emergency.

Public Behaviour
The slave shall address the Dominant as ......................... at all times when there is not enough privacy to use the previously decided upon title of ..................... The slave shall remain within 2 metres of the Owner unless a greater length of "invisible chain" is decided upon. The slave will show Owner full respect and dress as ordered to please Owner. The slave has not right to argue or show dissent

Friends and Relatives
Friends and relatives of the Owner will be treated with the utmost respect. No argument, criticism or lack of courtesy will be tolerated. Slave shall never insult or criticize any of Owner's friends or relatives. Owner may provide lodging for any friend or relative she wishes. Permission is required from the Owner if the slave wishes to provide lodging for any of their friends or relatives.

Training
Training may include daily discipline, offering bed cuffs, spending the night in bondage. Being given a weekly training scheduled to practice positions, servitude or worship. Bondage and restraint, dog leash training, body and/or foot worship. Humiliation, surprise discipline, caging,  bondage time, gags, hoods, etc.

Punishment

Punishment is given for any infraction of this contract including going anywhere without permission. Signs of rudeness, signs of disobedience or a relaxing of the level of submission, even if it is only perceived. The slave will not only be totally submissive but make it known through actions and promptness.

The slave shall perform a confession ritual once a month where he will confess any breaking of the rules or improper thoughts and then be punished accordingly.

Mild: slapping, ear or nipple pinching, cropping, hair pulling, going to bed early, time-outs
Medium: multiple slapping, genital pinching, intense bondage time, clamps and weights.

Severe: panty or ball gags, leg chains and/or handcuffs, caning.

Orgasm Control
Slave is not allowed to achieve an orgasm without the permission of Owner. The Mistress owns the slave and by right owns his orgasms. The slave's orgasms will be controlled for training purposes, teaching the slave good habits and providing motivation. The slave will be rewarded with permission to achieve orgasm through good behaviour. The carrot and stick (punishment) will ensure complete obedience

Drinking and Drugs
Slave is allowed to drink alcohol only with explicit permission from Owner, when and where and how much she permits. Recreational drugs are never permitted, a healthy slave is an obedient slave. Drinking will be permitted when going out to eat but limited to an amount decided upon by Owner. Slave may attend bars only with Owner or with her permission when wishing to go with someone else. Slave must ask permission for each and every drink and thank Mistress if permission is given.

Social Contact
Slave is allowed to write and talk to any family member as long as it does not interfere with his servitude or contravenes anything in this contract. The Dominant owns the time of the slave and has first call on it always. The slave has not rights to visit but is allowed privileges which can be given or taken away.


This Contract is valid from the day of signature and runs for 6 months, it may be renewed or renegotiated if Owner and/or slave feel it needs to be reviewed and updated.


............................................date

................................................. Owners signature

................................................... slaves signature

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